Description: Homo-Sapien offspring from the ages of 0-2 are considered infants, or more colloquially, babies. They survive mainly off breast milk, a liquid human females produce via lactation. Many of these so-called “babies” are considered cute and thus illicit an emotional and protective response from most adults around them. This makes initiating a confrontation with a baby very difficult.
Ultimate Technique: Wail of Death and Annoyance
- Try calling the infant adorable
- Ask to hold it, claiming you will be careful
- Punt the Baby
Best Weapon Against It: Ugly Parents
Tips: Babies only live for breasts and sleep. Instead of fighting one, it may be wiser to adopt its ideals.
Warnings: Do not look directly at a baby, or else it will enthrall you with its little face and make you speak like an idiot.